Our Greatest Adventure - Take Two

I haven’t been able to write down anything about my second pregnancy, so I thought I would try to jot down a couple of things. I’ve really enjoyed reading my weekly posts of Roodle’s pregnancy, so it’s really only fair that I write something about the first half of this pregnancy.

19 weeks

How We Found Out:

After the miscarriage, Husbandy and I waited a month to start trying, but then decided the three months that our Dr told us to wait was just too long. When I told my Dr about our decision, he wasn’t very happy. Either way, it took us another 4 months of trying to conceive. And once again it was the longest four months ever. I took my first pregnancy test on January 24th and it came back negative; the rest of the day I sulked and thought about having to try and wait another month. After not getting my period that week I decided to take another test on January 29th and it came back with the faintest of “+” signs. I left it in the bathroom to surprise Husbandy, but after he went in and come out without a word, I had to ask him about it. He told me he had seen it, but wasn’t sure if there was a + on it or not. Since we weren’t satisfied with the results, I went to CVS on my way to work and bought a digital test. I needed something that would clearly tell me if I was pregnant or not! I thought I’d wait until Saturday morning to take the test, but I didn’t have the will power, so I ended up taking it in the stall at work. “Pregnant!” I immediately texted Husbandy a picture. After a celebration over text messages, I called my Dr. At previous appointments, he told me as soon as I saw a positive pregnancy test, call, so I could get a blood test to check my progesterone. I ended up going over lunch and met Husbandy for some Whatabuger. My progesterone levels were slightly low, and given I had a miscarriage, they decided to put me on progesterone. 

We did have a little scare as the first time we went in for a sono, we saw a gestational sac, but no heartbeat. Based on my LMP, I would have been around 6 weeks, and therefore it would have been visible. That was the last thing I wanted to hear, but everyone kept telling me “you’re probably just too early.” Thankfully, they were right, because we went back 1 week later and saw a little flutter! 

How did we tell the family:

I knew I wanted to tell people right away. So, that Sunday I gave my mom some pictures at Sunday night dinner that I had been meaning to give her since Christmas. Mixed in them was a picture of my positive pregnancy test. I meant for it to be the last one she saw, but she ended up fanning the pictures out and spotted that one really fast; so fast that Husbandy didn’t get the camera pulled up in time to get a video. Bec got excited really quickly, but mom just kinda looked at me like “what is this?” So I told her that was a picture I had taken on Friday. The news quickly caught wind and soon everyone there was in the loop.

As for my Dad and Cindy, we invited them to dinner that next week, using a school fundraiser as a ploy. During dinner Roodle told them Baby Poppyseed (our gender neutral name) was in mommy’s tummy. Seeing as that’s not a typical sentence, they were kind of confused, but we told them that what she’s saying is…I’m pregnant! 

It’s always hard to be creative with Husbandy’s family since they live in FL, so Husbandy ended up calling them and telling them over the phone. 

How we told friends:

I told girls night pretty early on since I knew a lot of them had been praying for Husbandy and I. I wrote in an email that I'd be attending girls night with an adorable poppyseed size package coming with me.

We told the world (ie put it on facebook) on our anniversary with these cute little pictures:

How many weeks?

I am already 23 weeks! 

How big is baby?

About the size of a large mango.

Weight Gain/Maternity Clothes

I can only blame myself on this one. When I first got pregnant I ate a lot to keep the nausea away, which obviously helped with weight gain. I think I started to wear maternity pants around week 10?? I don’t remember exactly, but it was super early. I think I’ve gained about 14lbs and made my doctor go “Hmmm.” That’s a direct quote. My sis gave me a huge bin of clothes that we’ve been passing around and it’s definitely been very helpful.

Sleep

I’m always tired. Unfortunately, I cannot sleep all day. Typically during the night I get up to pee twice and can usually go back to sleep quick-ish. Lately allergies have not been my friend, so when I wake up I sneeze about 20 times before falling asleep. Husbandy really likes that.

Cravings/Aversions

I haven’t been craving anything really, but I’m very into spicy food. Aversions are always more of a thing with me. Up until about 15 weeks water sounded terrible all the time. I literally had to force myself to drink it. I tried putting different things in it (like lemon) to help, but it they would help for about a day and then sound terrible as well. There’s not really a good alternative to water when you’re pregnant, but for a while I was drinking a lot of vitamin water, but after about 2 weeks I sick of them. I also found that I really really like the Strawberry Acai Refersher at Starbucks, but it has a little bit of caffeine (though still less than ½ the recommended daily amount in the largest cup), so I try to only get it once or twice a week. Other than water, I’m again averse to sweets. They taste ok going down, but then leave the worst taste in my mouth that won’t go away. So much so, that they just aren’t worth it. Which I guess isn’t the worst thing, but I do miss ice cream. I also try to avoid garlic as it leaves a taste that won’t go away and fried foods sounds terrible most of the time. Thankfully, this time chicken seems to be ok (unlike with Roodle).

Symptoms

At the beginning I was feeling great and (naively) thought I was going to be ok. Then, nausea slowly crept in. I kept myself from getting sick by eating all. the. time. Though I was constantly nauseous. However, at week 8 nausea hit me hard and did not go away. I was throwing up at least once a day. Add in fatigue and that was me on the daily. My favorite spots to get sick included my cube at work and driving down Spring Valley. Oh, pregnancy. Around week 16/17 I started to feel better which I am so very thankful for.

Smells were also not my friend. I again had to get new deodorant and potty training was challenging. 

TMI alert, if you don’t want to read about bodily fluids, skip to the next paragraph, but I want to write this down as a reminder. I have had so much mucus. So much that I requested to have a sono because I knew there was no way I had a plug anymore. Apparently that can replenish itself which it good because while it has lessen some, I still have it and I’d like to keep what fluids I need.

My boobs have been so tender and they are huge. Husbandy doesn’t seem to have a problem with this, except that even if he looks at them, they hurt.

Movement

Yes! I think around 16.5 weeks I started to feel little kicks and punches. They started off pretty weak, but I loved every one of them. The day before my birthday, Husbandy also felt Poppyseed! So glad we squeezed that in while I was still 30. :-)

What I Miss

Mostly I just miss ice cream and a good cup of coffee. Also not being tired, but I think I’m just going to be tired for the next few years of my life, so I might as well not say I miss it.

Best Moments

1) Seeing Baby Poppyseed is always a favorite part. I would have a sono at every appointment if I could (except I know there are some risks that come with that, so maybe not…). I did end up buying a home Doppler because I just really wanted to hear the heartbeat. I told Husbandy he couldn’t let me get obsessed with it and I think I’m doing a pretty good job. I listened to the heartbeat 1-2 times a week and loved every time I heard it! Now that I’m feeling lots of movement I’m not so stressed and haven’t pulled out the Doppler in a while.

2) Watching Roodle interact with Poppyseed. We try to relate her cousins being brothers and sisters to how it’s going to be when Poppyseed arrives. She loved giving my tummy kisses and hugs and saying hi to Poppyseed. When I’m saying goodnight to her she always has the cutest questions and conversations. I think it’s a stall tactic and it works. Here are some of my favorite quotes/conversations and things I don’t want to forget:

a. I’m a big sister now!

b. “When Baby Poppyseed gets here, we can take her on walks?” “Yes, that sounds like a great idea!” “Yeah! On Sunday, we can take her on a walk!”

c. “Is it dark in your tummy?” “Yes, it’s a little dark, but Baby Poppyseed isn’t scared.” “Why is it dark in your tummy.” “Well, my tummy doesn’t have any windows, so it’s a little dark.”

d. “When Baby Poppyseed gets here, I will give her my blanket.” “Aww, that’s so sweet and thank you for sharing, but I think I’ll get Baby Poppyseed her own blanket so you can keep yours.” “Where is it?” “I don’t have it yet, but when I go to the store you can come with me and help me pick it out. Does that sound good?” Since this convo she has asked a couple times if Poppyseed is going to get her own blanket.

e. When Baby Poppyseed comes, we can give her a kiss and a hug!

f. “Mommy, want a donut?” “No thank you, I don’t really like donuts.” “When Poppyseed comes out, then you’ll like them?” “I hope so!”

g. When we ask Roodle what we should name Poppyseed, her response is always “Poppyseed!” I think she’ll be calling her that for a while, which I’m totally ok with. 

h. When we talk about our family Roodle always includes Pooypseed and it just makes my heart melt. I know when Poppyseed actually gets here, Roodle might not think she’s quite as fun with all the time Mommy is spending with her, but I pray the transition goes well. I do think Roodle does know something is going to change because she has been very much a Mommy’s girl lately

What I’m Looking Forward To:

1) I’m hoping Roodle will get to feel Poppyseed soon. I’m not sure if that will scare her or if she’ll think it’s neat, but hopefully that latter.

2) Giving this girl a name! I think we have our top picks, but neither one of us are ready to commit. I’m praying that the Lord will put a name on our heart, whether it’s currently on our list or not.

3) Getting our house ready! We’ve talked about it, but nothing has actually been done. So many things to decide, like are we going to move Roodle’s room or just make another room the nursery, what’s the theme going to be, what’s the best way to move furniture out of Roodle’s room and tell her it’s now Poppyseed’s? Four months left and we have a lot to do.

How’s that for a mid-pregnancy post? Here’s to finding time to do a few more . :-)

There is an Appointed Time for Everything

October 15th is infant loss awareness day, so what better day than today to share this story.

When the time came for Husbandy and I to start thinking about having more kids, it was really tough for me. Theoretically I wanted more kids, but I also couldn’t imagine having to split my time with Reese. I love her so so much and didn’t want to give up any time with her, nor could I imagine loving another child as much as I love her. Of course I’ve heard you’re your heart just grows and you love even more than you knew you could, but I had a hard time with it. I prayed that the Lord would open my heart and He did it through my siblings. My brother and sister are two of my biggest blessings and I cannot imagine life without them. My life would be 100% different if my parents didn’t say a selfless yes to God, and I want that for Reese. And so, my hardened heart was opened.

Husbandy and I started to really try for another baby in May. Trying to get pregnant is fun, but it’s also hard and stressful. When you’re waiting to figure out if you’re pregnant, days feel like months and months feel like years. I was so encouraged by this website and its prayers for pregnancy. I began to pray the Trying to Conceive prayer every day. It’s a perfect reminder of who our God is. On month number four, I could tell that something was different. Mostly, I all of a sudden wanted to go to bed very early and my basal body temperature spiked. I got really really excited, but made myself wait to take a pregnancy test until what I thought would be the day I would start another cycle. When the day came, I realized the only pregnancy test I had was expired, but I used it anyway. Positive!! Yes, yes yes! But wait, do expired pregnancy tests work? What would be more likely, a false positive, or a false negative? I didn’t really know, so I decided to keep the news to myself, buy more tests that day, and see what a second test said. 

Positive! I was two for two and ready to tell Husbandy. I took Reese in her room to change, handed her the pregnancy tests, and told her to give them to daddy. It was such a happy morning. That was Thursday. 

There are so many emotions with getting pregnant. Relief, joy, excitement, happiness, and fear. 40 weeks. 40 weeks I have to wait to meet my baby and 40 weeks I have to worry about his/her development. I wrestled with calling my OB because I knew he most likely wouldn’t want to see me until I was further along, but ended up doing it and made an appointment that wasn’t for another 2.5 weeks. Again, another waiting game and it felt like it was forever away. We spent a lot of time that weekend with my family and I so badly wanted to say something, but decided confirming I was pregnant with a doctor made more sense first. So I kept my mouth shut.

Unfortunately, on Monday our story took a sad turn.

Just after lunch on Monday, August 31st, when I went to the bathroom, I saw my first sign of blood and froze. I tried to tell myself that bleeding could occur during pregnancy, but of course the bad thoughts outweighed any sort of good. I immediately called the doctor and was told by a nurse that there wasn’t much they could do because I was so early. I knew in the back of my mind she was going to say that, but I wanted answers. I then called Husbandy. That morning my temperature had taken a dip, which I had already told him about, so I felt like I was delivering a second drop of bad news for the day. After discussing it with him, I also decided I needed prayer warriors. Telling your sister and mom that you’re pregnant and that you might be losing the baby all at the same time is not ideal and certainly not how I had planned to share the news. It was hard, but I needed prayer. As the day went on, the little hints of blood turned into more and more and my fears grew. I cried a lot Monday night. A lot. 

Tuesday morning rolled around and I could barely open my eyes. They were too puffy from the tears, so I emailed work and told them I wouldn’t be coming in. I also called the Dr again and (thankfully) got a different nurse who told me they would squeeze me in. Husbandy met me there and away we went in to the sonogram room. The last time I was in there, I got to see my precious Reese. Heart beating, little legs kicking, a big smiling face; so it was really weird for me knowing I was there and most likely not going to see anything. Having seeing Reese for the first time at 5 weeks and 6 days, I knew what I was looking for and didn’t see anything. In such a hard situation I did find comfort in the Christian music playing in the background. How awesome is that? A song playing in the sono room reminding me of God’s grace, mercy, and love. I’m so thankful for a Christ loving OB. After the sono was over the tech typed up some notes and sent Husbandy and on to wait for Dr B. One note that stuck out was “no gestational sac at this time.” It was what I expected and what I saw, but I still had hope that the sono tech saw something different.

I was pretty much ready to hear that I had miscarried, but that wasn’t what my OB had to say. He was certain I was earlier in the pregnancy than what I was saying and didn’t think the sono would have shown anything either way. He also told Husbandy and I that 1/3 of normal pregnancies bleed and the pregnancy test I took there came back positive. Instead of ruling anything a miscarriage, he gave us a 50/50 shot and told us to come back in a week. 

The rest of the week I struggled between still having hope and not feeling pregnant. I don’t mean I wasn’t experiencing morning sickness, so I didn’t feel pregnant. I mean I just felt empty, a completely different feeling from the one I had in the days prior. I knew deep down I wasn’t pregnant anymore, but I wanted so badly to be wrong. It was also easy for me to think I was never even pregnant. I never saw a heartbeat and my bleeding was much like a typical period. But then I reminded myself life begins at conception and I had three positive pregnancy tests, so I know there was life inside of me. It’s hard when you’re reminded of pain and suffering at each bathroom visit. The hardest thing for me to reconcile though was that I never knew when the actual miscarriage happened. Every time I went to the bathroom I said a prayer.

As the week went by I felt peace. There were times I thought I was ok but would then just start crying and I’m sure that’s how it will be for a while. When our second Dr’s appointment rolled around I had been bleeding for a week and knew everything the sonogram would show, and the sono tech confirmed my beliefs. I didn’t really know what to expect from my OB. He’s definitely a quirky guy and I couldn’t imagine him in a sad situation. But, he surprised me and gave me comfort in knowing I didn’t do anything wrong, but this just happens sometimes. We talked about our plan going forward which included weekly blood tests to make sure my body returned to normal and lots of waiting. Thankfully, my blood counts were normal with the first blood test I took.

Eventually the day came around that should have been my first prenatal visit, but instead I wasn’t going to see the doctor at all. It was definitely a weird feeling. I wrote an email to my family asking for prayers and the responses I got were so encouraging. They reminded me that our sweet baby is in the company of angels and raising her own little voice in praise. That our child who was conceived in love has returned to be with Love itself and that she will be interceding for her Mommy and Daddy and sister before the throne of God. WOW! That day was also the feast day of Our Lady of Sorrows. I don’t find it ironic at all; I see it as God’s perfect timing and His love for His children. I know Mary was also interceding for me on her feast day.

I am so thankful for family and friends. I know the peace I’ve felt about this situation would not have been possible without the power of prayer. I’m so thankful that two friends, who thought we were going to have a nice girl’s dinner, listened when it quickly turned into me bursting into tears. I’m thankful they chose to listen, to pray, and to check in on me on the days that followed. I’m thankful for blogs that I read with a whole new perspective now, especially those that remind me “His worthiness is not dependent upon the outcome of our prayer.” He is good and His goodness endures forever.”

I am also so thankful for my place of work. As I mentioned, I missed one day of work and my manager was so supportive. On Wednesday (the day after I came back) he brought me into his office and said the nicest things to me. He reassured me that I had a support system there and if I needed more time to feel free to take it. He didn’t even know what I was going through, but he had the insight to say these things to me. I wavered between telling him later what was going on. He’s a single guy and I was sure he wouldn’t want to know about this kind of thing. After some prayers, however, I decided it was best to let him know, and again his words were so great and so kind. I also have friends at work who I know are praying for Husbandy and I.

Lastly, I’m thankful for Husbandy and Reese. Even though we were going through a hard time they brought smiles and laughs every day. I’ve definitely been reminded of how much Reese is my little angel and give her hugs and kisses as much as I can. 

Husbandy and I know that one day we will be able to meet our baby in Heaven. When that day comes, I want to be able to call her by name. When we found out we were pregnant, I had just finished a novena to St Monica, and because of that we have decided to name our baby Monica.

I’ve already began to wonder what it will be like when Husbandy and I start trying again and how I’m going to handle it when I see a positive pregnancy test? I know there will be lots of joy, but also fear. I just read another blog about having faith over fear, so I hope when the time comes, I will remember those words.

Even though I didn’t get to see your heartbeat, or precious profile, I know I’ll meet you one day and know who you are, because that’s a mother’s love.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-15

There is an appointed time for everything,

and a time for every affair under the heavens.

A time to give birth, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to tear down, and a time to build.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;

a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away.

A time to rend, and a time to sew;

a time to be silent, and a time to speak.

A time to love, and a time to hate;

a time of war, and a time of peace.

What profit have workers from their toil?

I have seen the business that God has given to mortals to be busied about.

God has made everything appropriate to its time, but has put the timeless into their hearts so they cannot find out, from beginning to end, the work which God has done.

I recognized that there is nothing better than to rejoice and to do well during life.

Moreover, that all can eat and drink and enjoy the good of all their toil—this is a gift of God.

I recognized that whatever God does will endure forever; there is no adding to it, or taking from it. Thus has God done that he may be revered.

What is, has already been; what is to be, already is: God retrieves what has gone by.

Our Greatest Adventure: Labor and Delivery

6/10/2013

I tried to write down everything as I remember it, sorry if some is TMI. Read at your own risk.

To truly start at the beginning we will have to begin with my doctor appointment on June 10 (yes, my birthday). At that point Husbandy and I knew we could be inducing that night so we packed everything in the car and went to the hospital not knowing our fate. Previously, I was told we would start the induction process by using a method that would allow Husbandy and I to spend the night at our home, so either way I figured we would have one last night on our own. I had done a second 24 hour protein test the week before and we were getting the results back that day. Dr B had told us if my protein counts were the same or higher, we would induce; but if they fell then we would have to discuss and decide what we wanted to do. At the appointment we learned my counts had actually gone down! I was so happy to hear that cause I figured I would get to let Reese cook a little longer. Dr B, however, wasn't convinced and wanted some blood work to be done as well as my blood pressure to be monitored for a little bit. So, down to triage we went. At this point, we were very familiar with triage and how it worked, so I wasn't too nervous. 

Once there, my blood was taken, I was hooked up to a blood pressure cuff, and the waiting game began. After maybe an hour we heard our nurse talking on the phone and could tell she was talking to Dr B about me, so we listened to the conversation. I can’t remember all the medical terms that were used, but basically some of my blood counts looked ok, but some were a little higher than they should be. To us, it sounded like she was persuading Dr B that I needed to be induced that night, grasping at anything to prove her point. Well, it must have worked cause she was soon in our room telling us Dr B wanted to induce. What? To me it seemed like things were looking better and that I should’ve been able to last at least a few more days. Before I knew it I was being carted up to the fifth floor to start inducing. That’s right, I thought I was going to be going home that night, but the induction method had also changed. We were now going to be using Cytotec, which doesn't affect the uterus, but instead begins to soften the cervix. It’s given in 3-4 doses every 4 hours depending on how your body reacts to it. Because this method can affect the baby, a fetal monitor was necessary. On the way up to our room for the night, I broke down. I did not want my labor to happen this way, I so badly wanted it to happen naturally. The nurse taking me up to our room got on my nerves. I think she was trying to be nice, but I just remember her saying something like “It’s ok, inducing labor is done all the time, just take the epidural and relax.” Uhh, no. By the time we got to the room, I was crying. Mostly out of anticipation, I think.

Our nurse for the night was nice enough, but both Husbandy and I felt like she said things that you wanted to hear, kind of buttered things up. I have mixed feelings for her. She also told me to just take the epidural. She had done things naturally and had also had an epidural, and never again would she do it naturally. Well, thanks for your opinion. Oh, I almost forgot. While in triage they kept telling me I could eat a good dinner that night, but after midnight I couldn't have anything except water. I was already dreaming what my last meal would be, something high in protein and carbs to get me through labor, but once we got up to our fifth floor room I was told I could only have liquids, like a soup. What?! I kind of fought the nurse on this saying downstairs they said I could have a full dinner, but she didn't believe me. So, I had soup for dinner. At least it was a good soup from Picasso’s. 

I got the first round of Cytotec at 8:45 pm. Based on what the nurse had told us, I wouldn't begin to feel much until the second, maybe third round. My mom came up to the hospital after she got off work and ended up staying until I got the second round at 12:15am. In between rounds, we tried to get some sleep. Husbandy was much more successful at this than I was. I don’t know if it was nerves or what, but I couldn't fall asleep. Before getting my second round I was checked to see if I had dilated any. I’m pretty sure at that point I was 2-3 cm. After getting the second round, my mom left, and I flipped off the tv; I was then finally able to fall asleep. This was the first night of “sleep” interrupted by nurses every 30 minutes. Definitely not the ideal situation. 

I slept for maybe two hours, but around 3:00am contractions really started to pick up. I woke up Husbandy whose job it was to make sure my rice sock stayed warm and to press on my lower back when a contraction hit. Around 3:30am I was checked again and I had dilated to about 5cm and was then given my last dose of Cytotec. Contractions continued to get more frequent and harder. Around 4am my mom couldn't stand being at home any longer and made her way up to the hospital. It was comforting having her and Husbandy there. They helped coach me through the contractions, and kept me positive. One thing that really got on my nerves was the fact that we had taken a Bradley class and learned all these great positions that can help lessen the pain of contractions. But, because I was hooked up to a fetal monitor I was limited to things I could do. Actually, the nurse told me I had to stay laying on my side in the bed, which really made me mad cause I wanted to try to kneel and lean over it. I understood that when I was sitting upright the pressure caused Reese’s heart rate to slow, which I obviously didn't want, but I thought kneeling would take away the pressure, and help me out. Lying on my side through all the contractions was hard.

At 6:00am we were sent down to labor and delivery. At this point the contractions were really hard and frequent. I know it was hard for both Husbandy and my mom to see me in so much pain. When we got to our room, the nurse told us she had talked to Dr B. Because my blood pressure was so high he had recommended that I get an epidural as he was worried about my seizing. Hearing this really made my mom and Husbandy nervous. They both knew I did not want an epidural, but obviously seizing was also not in the best interest of Reese and I. After talking it over through a few more contractions I made the decision to get an epidural. At that point I had to listen to those around me and to my body. No sooner had I said ok and my mom was out the door getting the nurse. I remember during my Bradley class seeing how an epidural worked really freaked me out. I tried not to think about it as mom and Husbandy were told to leave the room. I’m not sure why they couldn't be in there, but I was sad to see them go. I tried to remain calm as the anesthesiologist did his thing, but was really ready for it all to be over. 

Soon enough Husbandy and mom were let back in the room. I suspect it was just around 7:30am at this point. The pain from the contractions had definitely subsided but I was still feeling a lot of pressure down low. And I mean it was a lot of pressure! So much that I would moan through a contraction. I thought it was weird that I was in this much pain with an epidural. I use the term pain cause I don’t know a better word. It was certainly a different sort of pain than before. At first the nurse thought I was having pain that I shouldn't have, so she increased the epidural, but then my mom asked exactly where is the pressure? I told her it was low, like in the vaginal region, and she was like it sounds like you may need to start pushing. Finally, my nurse, Katey, checked me and was like oh wow the baby is right there, let me get Dr B! Knowing that I shouldn't push until I was told to to prevent tearing, I waited for Dr B to get there. As soon as he did, he checked my status and said, “That baby is ready to come out!” Knowing I wanted only Husbandy in the room for pushing, my mom said her goodbyes and assured me prayers were being said in the waiting room. Looking back, I really wish I would have been checked before getting the epidural. I was obviously very close, and knowing that may have given me that last boost of confidence I needed. I know getting the epidural could have relaxed me enough to move the process along, but still, it would have been nice to know.

I expected Dr B to stay in the room cause it was time to push, but I was wrong. Katey is the one who prepped everything and at 8:20am we started to push. Katey was a really great coach. She knew exactly what I needed to hear and encouraged me the whole time. Husbandy was also there and helped out during my contractions. Thankfully, I was able to feel enough pressure to know when I needed to push, so I was able to lead this effort. I can’t remember exactly how many contractions I pushed through, but I could tell things were moving pretty fast. Katey was pretty shocked at how quickly Reese was making her way. During this time Katey warned Husbandy and I that Reese could come out a little blue and dazed but she was going to do her best to get Reese to me as soon as she came out.

Soon, Dr B was called into the room cause Reese was so close! I couldn't believe it. I was actually doing it! I was having a baby! After pushing a couple more times, Dr B told me to relax and to not push; Reese was making her way out on her own. At 8:43am, our beautiful gift was born.

I would like to say Reese was immediately put my chest, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. As soon as she came out, I could tell something wasn't right because she was very floppy. Dr B quickly cut the cord and handed Reese over to some other people in the room. I don’t remember everything that happened, but as Husbandy tells me, a code blue was called and about four more people rushed into the room and started to work on Reese. I couldn't see everything that was going on because Dr B was standing right in front of me delivering the placenta and sewing me up (I had a small interior tear), but I kept looking a Husbandy with concern in my eyes. He just kept shaking his head like I don’t know; I don’t know what going on. I’m not sure exactly how long it was, maybe the longest three or four minutes of my life, but finally I heard a sweet baby crying on the other side of the room. Oh what joy and sweet relief! At that point all the tears came. She’s here, Reese is here! Soon after that Reese was brought to me and I got to hold my precious daughter for the first time. I've never had so many emotions flood over me at once. While holding Reese, Husbandy came over to me and gave me a James Avery cross necklace he bought for me; in the middle of the cross is an alexandrite gem, the June birthstone. He also bought the exact same necklace for Reese; we will give it to her when she’s older.

Timing couldn't have been better cause my sister had just gotten to the hospital. She had to be at work at 10:00, but figured she’d stop by the hospital just in case. Luckily, she and my mom were allowed back in the room before she had to leave. I was so thankful they were there. :) Before too long my dad and Cindy also arrived at the hospital and they were able to see Reese while we were still in L&D. 

After all the clean-up was done we were moved to postpartum. Throughout the day we had lots of visitors which meant so much to us! Family members took their lunch breaks just to come get a glimpse of Reese. :) Unfortunately we were not real good at taking pictures of everyone, so here's a list of people that came to visit that day: Mimi, Grandpa, Cindy, Aunt Rebecca, Uncle Jason, Aidan, Uncle Bryan, Aunt Nancy, Brooklyn, Uncle Frank, Aunt Kelly, Kyle, and Lauren.

Typically the only way to get rid of high blood pressure during pregnancy is to have the baby (hence why we induced…). Dr B wanted to make sure it went back down so he had nurses check it throughout the day. Unfortunately, it was not going back down to a level he was ok with and the next day he put me on magnesium. Magnesium helps with keeping blood pressure down so a seizure can be avoided. The side effects, however, are not fun. It makes you feel like you have the flu. I spent most of the day not getting to hold Reese cause I was so tired are groggy. Thankfully, Husbandy was there and my mom took of work so Reese was able to get some love from them. During the day Granny and Grandpa came and met Reese briefly. Because I wasn't feeling well, they didn't stay long. That night was probably the worst cause I had a nurse in my room doing/checking something every 30 minutes. It was really frustrating. I certainly did not expect my hospital stay to include all of that! I expected my second day in the hospital to include maybe a breastfeeding class, skin to skin, and anything else that helped Reese adjust to the world. :(

Thankfully, on Thursday Dr B thought I had improved enough and took me off the magnesium. Being on it, however, had set me back at least a day with breastfeeding, something I will go into more detail about in my one month post. That morning, Courtney came to meet Reese. Husbandy and I were so happy she came, even if I looked terrible. I feel bad about that, but she was very gracious. :P  Later that day, June 13th, we were ok’ed to go home! Leaving the hospital with our daughter was surreal. As I sat in the backseat looking at her, I could not believe my first labor was over. Despite it not going how I had it planned, I was thankful that we were leaving the hospital with a healthy baby girl.

Random side note:

Husbandy and I have decided we deserve a plaque somewhere in Presby Dallas as we occupied seven different rooms during our three day stay. Big shout out to Husbandy who was constantly packing our things and moving them.

1. Triage

2. High risk room to start induction

3. L&D for delivery

4. Postpartum

5. L&D for magnesium

6. High risk room to be monitored while on magnesium

7. Postpartum once off of magnesium

WHEW!

Our Greatest Adventure: Week 36

6/4/2013

How far along: 36 weeks

How big is baby: Again I’m seeing Reese is about the size of a honeydew melon or head of lettuce. Reese is losing the coat of hair as well as the waxy substance that was covering body in preparation for birth. Additionally, her liver and kidneys are in working order and the circulatory and immune systems are basically good to go. Reese’s bones are getting stronger, but still pliable so she can make her way through the birth canal.

Total weight gain: Well, I went to the doctor and I've actually dropped 2-3 lbs. Trust me, I think this is weird and I asked if it was ok; the nurse told me some people do drop weight at the end of their pregnancy.

Maternity clothes: Since I've been hanging around the house lately I find it hard to motivate myself to get out of comfy clothing. I don’t remember the last time I put on jeans. :)

Sleep: Oh sleep, you've been hard to come by lately. It takes me forever to get comfortable and actually fall asleep. Then, when I get up to go to the restroom, it usually takes me about 30 min to fall back asleep.

Notable moments of the week: 

1) On Tuesday I had my big appointment to see how my bp was doing and get the results of my 24 hr test. I had been watching my bp with the cuff we bought and it seemed to be doing better. But, the morning of the dr appointment it was really high. I think it’s cause I knew the importance my visit. When we got to the dr’s the first thing we did was a sono. The tech looked at my fluids and did some measuring, but all during the sono Reese was just snoozing away and did not feel like moving. Unfortunately, they have some score on movement they see, and if they don’t see any a non stress test (NST) is sometimes done. So, the tech told Husbandy and I to go walk around, eat something sweet, and try to wake her up. Eating something sweet did sound good, so we got an ice cream cookie sandwich. I always feel like she moves more when I’m sitting, so I sat like I would a work and saw her move a couple times, so we rushed back to the sono room. Well, once there, she wasn't feeling it again, so the tech told us she would just have to tell Dr B what she saw (or didn't see). Ok, well this certainly didn't help my bp and that was the next thing that was done. Of course it was high, even though I tried to calm myself down. Husbandy kept saying, just calm down, there is nothing to stress over. Ahhh! That is really easier said than done! Next we met with Dr B. My results had come in from the 24 hr test and I was border line, again (like the glucose test). So, he said I had mild pre-eclampsia.

Based on Reese not cooperating, my bp, and results from the 24 hr test, Husbandy and I were sent down to L&D to do a NST, blood work, get a better sono, and for them to check if I’m dilated. Our nurse, April, was so nice and helpful…we liked her a lot. We also had a more private room this time, which was nice. Getting the sono done again was cool, cause the sono machine was waaaay better than Dr B’s. He should seriously upgrade. I believe it was Dr Reinhart we saw, he did see some movement and said Reese looked fine. Finally, some reassuring news. Back in L&D I was checked and told I was not dilated. At this point, knowing I might be induced very soon, I was hoping I might be dilated some…but no. Hopefully my body kicks it into gear soon. Anyway, after some monitoring of my bp and contractions (I was having some, but nothing painful), April called Dr B and he said we could go home. It was actually still daylight when we got out, so that was nice. 

2) I did stay on bed rest and was told to do another 24 hr test. Some girls at work knew I might be coming back on Wednesday, and when they didn't see me they emailed. I was really thankful for their concern and that they asked me how I was doing! I really am blessed to work with such great people.

3) On Thursday, we went back in to see Dr B. There wasn't anything too new discussed at this appointment. Blood results came back from Tuesday and they confirmed that I am showing sign of pre-eclampsia. Dr B said we will wait to see what my 24 hr test results say. If my protein levels stay the same or rise, we will be inducing next week (Monday night/Tuesday)! If they fall, then there is a chance we could give it a few more days. Again, I’m praying my body starts this process on its own. 

4) There were exciting things that happened this week too! Like, I had two showers!! I made sure with Dr B that going to them was ok, and he was fine with it as long as I wasn't playing some crazy game or running on a treadmill. The shower on Saturday was for family and family friends. I was overwhelmed with all the stuff we got! Most of the people there had just been to Becca’s shower not too long ago, so it seemed like deja vu. 

Shower hosted by Aunt Carol, Aunt Stacy, Rosanne Dworaczyk, and Patty Stewart

Sunday’s shower was for all my friends. Becca, Nancy, Lauren, and Courtney did such a great job with the books/letters theme. All the food was inspired by a book. For instance, we had cookies for If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, and meatballs for Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. All the guests brought a book (they also did this at the shower on Saturday), so Reese has lots of books to read! Also, I was inspired by this nursery, so I’m creating my very own letter wall. Luckily, I have some super creative friends cause they were all assigned letters for me to hang and they turned out so cute! I’m missing a few, so we haven’t hung them yet….but once we have everything I’ll take a picture of the finished product!

Food cravings: I have been very very blessed as Husbandy was able to work from home on Wednesday and Thursday. On Wednesday, I surprised him with a delivery from Tiff’s Treats! Oh wow, they smelled so good. I did indulge in one while they were nice and warm...so.good. 

Food aversions: I think Husbandy has been sneaking some garlic on our broccoli. So far, no big reactions, but I’m still not ready to go full throttle on the garlic yet.

Symptoms: I’ve noticed some lower left back pain this week. Luckily, it was just one day. On Friday, I also had a breakdown…just started crying. I think it freaked Husbandy out a little. Knowing that this time next week we could have a baby, here, for us to take care of, wow. Not knowing how labor is going to go. So much is up in the air and it freaks me out! I know I just have to trust in the Lord’s plan. If he didn’t think we were ready to be parents, I know we wouldn’t be sitting here 36 weeks pregnant. I just pray that I’m able to live up to be the mommy He wants me to be. Thankfully I have a strong Husbandy who is very confident in my abilities to birth a child and to be a wonderful mom. :)

Movement: I still make sure I feel her throughout the day. I love seeing my tummy move all over the place, it’s so fun.

What I’m looking forward to: Hmm…Reese being here!

What I miss: Not missing too much. Knowing my pregnancy could end so soon has got me thinking about things I will miss about being pregnant! These past months have FLOWN by, oh here I go starting to cry again. We will just leave it at that.

Next appt: June 10th

Workout/Fitness: Same.

EDD: At this point I feel like her arrival date is now mid June! And I was worried about a 4th of July baby….

Our Greatest Adventure: Week 35

5/28/2013

How far along: 35 weeks

How big is baby: About the size of a honeydew melon or coconut. The kidneys are fully developed and the liver can process some waste products. Here is an interesting fact I read, my uterus has grown about 1,000 times its original size!

Total weight gain: 15 lbs

Maternity clothes: Mostly just wearing lots of pajama pants, t-shirts, and sweat pants. 

Sleep: I have trouble getting comfy when trying to sleep, once I’m there I usually sleep pretty good until I wake up needing to pee.

Notable moment of the week: 

1) I had a dr appointment on Tuesday. I went in thinking things were fine, but turns out my blood pressure was a little high. This concerned Dr B and he had me do some blood work as well as a 24 hour test to take a look at my protein levels. He also mentioned maybe having to induce at 37 weeks. This freaked me out some, being induced is not exactly in my plan.

2) On Thursday I went up to the hospital to turn in my 24 hour test and ended up talking with Dr B. At that point he had gotten results from the blood work and didn’t like some of the numbers, soooo he officially put me on bed rest. He said there is a chance that the 24 hr test results will come back ok and I can go back to work, but for now I need to stay off my feet. He also talked about inducing again. While this still freaks me out, I know high blood pressure is not good for Reese, and getting her out is best for both of us. Plus, at the time he’s saying we will induce she’ll be 37 weeks and full term. I’m just really hoping I can still make it to my showers!

3) Husbandy and I went and bought a blood pressure cuff so I can now monitor things at home. It bounces all over the place, so it's hard to see a pattern.

Food cravings: I had a Schlotzsky’s sandwich this week and it was sooo good. I miss sandwiches.

Food aversions: I haven’t tried garlic in a while, but I’m guessing it still wouldn't taste good. 

Symptoms: I’ve had some pain in my lower abdomen, I think it’s stretching. I guess I’ll go ahead and put high blood pressure and just feeling large in general.

Movement: She still really likes my right side. Sometimes I feel like she wants to push past my side and make it around to my back. I know that’s not possible…but she get waaay over there.

What I’m looking forward to: I’m still looking forward to my showers, just hoping I make it to them!

What I miss: Not being surprised at every dr appointment I go to. :)

Next appt: June 4th 

Workout/Fitness: Same.

Our Greatest Adventure: Week 34

5/21/2013

How far along: 34 weeks

How big is baby: The size of a cantaloupe or butternut squash. Reese is continuing to build fat layers which will help her regulate her body temperature. Also, her central nervous system and lungs are maturing.

Total weight gain: Still sitting around 15 lbs

Maternity clothes: I finally finally finally found a dress that I like! After too much time spent at Target, I found it. It’s nothing too fancy, but it’s something I can wear to work and to my cousin’s wedding in June.

Sleep: I had my first labor and delivery dream. Thankfully things went well. I birthed in a pool, but it wasn't a labor and delivery pool, it was a big swimming pool type thing, so that was kind of strange. But, Reese did come with just one push! How nice. :) Good news is, it was actually a baby that came out. A lot of women say they dream of birthing a puppy or something like that, but not me, mine was a sweet baby girl with brown hair (when I told Husbandy she had brown hair he was kind of surprised….I think he’s expecting a blonde). I do remember Husbandy holding her strangely, but other than that I was satisfied with the dream.

Best moment of the week: 

1) On Thursday, Merit hosted our first shower! All the decorations were super cute and we were overwhelmed by the love we were shown! Most people formed groups and bought lots of our big ticket items! We also got some cute Aggie bloomers and a Nalgene for when Reese is a little older. We obviously cannot wait to bring her down to College Station. :)

2) On Saturday, Husbandy and I went up to Papa Joe’s with my mom, Aunt, and Brooklyn. I had just been thinking the other day I hadn't seen him in a while, so I was excited to get to go up to Anna. We didn't do much, just sat around talking and being entertained by Brooklyn.

3) On Monday morning we met up with Lauren to take some maternity pictures. Our first stop was Presby Hospital (conveniently where we are also delivering) to take some pictures with the “B G”, Husbandy and I were the “I”. We then headed over to the same park we took engagement pictures. I thought that would be cute and stuff. :P I haven’t seen any of the pics we took (well, not edited), but I know they are going to turn out really well and I’m so excited to see them!

4) Husbandy and I spent the rest of Memorial Day at my Uncle and Aunt’s house. We were both really excited to go over there because they are always so much fun and we hadn't seen them in a while. The day was spent outside on their patio with good food and conversation. There was of course entertainment provided by Brooklyn too (sadly Aidan was in Houston visiting Jason’s side of the family).

Food cravings: I still want sweets, pasta, and pizza. I think it’s mostly cause these are things I shouldn't eat.

Food aversions: Same.

Symptoms: I've noticed I am no longer the coldest person in the room. The other week I was at a conference and everyone was commenting how cold the rooms were. I had noticed they were cool, but I only had to put my sweater on once. I’m also now the person who is requesting the fan to be turned on or turn down the air. Husbandy is shocked. I’m also sleeping with less covers than Husbandy, it’s strange. I've also had some aches in my lower abdomen. It feels like my body is stretching in preparation.

Movement: Ha! Look at this video I captured at work on Friday. I think she was having trouble getting comfy.

What I’m looking forward to: The rest of our showers!

What I miss: Not feeling so large. Bending over is an issue which makes laundry not fun. I remember my sister saying something about noticing how easy it was to pick things up after having Aidan, so I’m ready for that feeling!

Next appt: May 28th 

Workout/Fitness: Same.

Our Greatest Adventure: Week 33

05/14/2013 

How far along: 33 weeks 

How big is baby: The size of a durian (these fruit are becoming more obscure to me) or a honeydew melon. Reese is now keeping her eyes open while awake and she is coordinating breathing with sucking and swallowing. 

I promise to get an updated picture soon, Reese has had quite a growth spurt!

Total weight gain: 13-14 lbs 

Maternity clothes: No changes, just lots and lots comfy clothing. I did buy my first and second nursing bra…so that’s exciting. 

Sleep: Getting as much as I can. There are lots of groans while getting comfortable, but once there I typically fall asleep pretty quickly. 

Best moment of the week: 

1) Things were pretty quiet around here this week due to last week’s events. I did go to work Mon – Fri but managed to work only one full day. Saturday was spent around the house, but Sunday I actually got out for Mass, a bridal shower, and my brother’s birthday party at Main Event. I didn't participate in the bowling or laser tag...but I had fun with the family.

2) A cousin that I don’t see a lot since she lives in OK was in town randomly for a couple days this week. She stayed with Becca and came to family Thursday night dinner, so it was nice catching up with her. 

3) On Monday the 20th I had my first dr apt since L&D. Unfortunately, Dr B was sick, so I didn't get to talk with him. I did, however, get a sono! The tech confirmed that Reese is head down. Good job, little one. There is a possibility that she could flip back over, but I hear that’s rare. The tech also said my fluids look good. Reese’s heartbeat was at 150 bpm and she’s weighing 5.1 lbs. That sounds so big! I know she has a little more to gain, but hopefully not too much. 

Food cravings: Why oh why must I be craving sweets?! I sit and stare at my Pinterest dessert board wishing I could enjoy some of the chocolate goodness, but no. 

Food aversions: You can fill in the blank here…. 

Symptoms: Still some tightening in my belly. When contractions pick up, I lay on my left side and they seem to slow down. Then again, sometimes I think the tightening is Reese pushing out or I ate too much. My feet still swell, but that shouldn't be a surprise. Some first trimester symptoms are making their way back, like nausea. I haven’t gotten sick, but I wake up feeling pretty gross and sometimes it doesn't go away. 

Movement: Reese still loves my right side. It was so cute, one night Husbandy was singing to her, and I could feel Reese moving over towards his voice. How cute is that? Thanks to my sono, I now know the jabs I’m feeling on my right side and what’s poking out is in fact a foot. I also know it’s a bottom at the top of my belly. Annnd Aunt Rebecca felt Reese this week! I'm pretty sure she was hiccuping at the time, but it still counts as a baby movement. :) We are very sneaky, Reese.

What I’m looking forward to: Next week I’m having a shower at my work! I’m so excited to have my first shower!

What I miss: Fro Yo, not worrying all the time! 

Next appt: May 28th (we are now going every week)

Workout/Fitness: Pregnancy stretches.

Our Greatest Adventure: Week 32

5/7/2013 

How far along: 32 weeks 

How big is baby: Baby weighs as much as a large jicama (about 3.75 lbs) and the size of a squash. Reese is hopefully positioning herself downwards (we will find out at the next apt). She has grown fingernails and toenails. 

Total weight gain: 14-15 lbs 

Maternity clothes: I’m finding myself less and less motivated to get dressed up. When I’m at home I’m most definitely in a t-shirt and pajama pants and when I got out, if I can get away with comfy pants, I do. 

Sleep: It takes me a while to get in a good position and I've noticed myself waking up having trouble breathing. Some of it has to do with my nose being stuffy and the other part has to do with the fact my insides are cramped. 

Notable moments of the week: 

This week I changed this section to notable moments instead of best moments…I think that’s what it should be called anyway. 

1) On Wednesday I felt like my stomach was really tight/heavy all throughout the morning. I was wearing a dress that day, whereas I typically wear pants that have some support, but I still thought it was strange. As the day went on the tightening would come and go. I know Braxton Hicks are common at this point during pregnancy, but I thought these were too frequent. I ended up calling the nurse and she said it sounded like I could be having real contractions and that I should go home, rest, and drink lots of water. Yes, this freaked me out so I skipped a work girl’s night and went home. I was never in pain, I just thought the tightening of my stomach was happening too frequently. I’ve asked Dr B about it before and he was always like 4-5 a day is fine, but 4-5 an hour is too much. I decided if they persisted throughout the night I would go in the next day. 

I had no trouble sleeping that night, so I went in to work as normal. That morning I had a strange feeling I was leaking fluids, so after lunch I called to talk with a nurse again. She told me to come in and have things checked out just in case. So, I told my work I needed to go to the Dr and left. Thankfully, Husbandy was not too busy so he met me at the hospital. I went up to my OB’s office and they hooked me up to a machine that measures the baby’s heart rate and tracks contractions. I laid there for about 30 minutes until Dr B came in to look at the results. “Oh, you’re having contractions; you need to go downstairs (to L&D).” Excuse me? I was really just hoping they would tell me I’m paranoid and send me on my way. Instead I was carted down to L&D. 

At this point Husbandy and I thought it was best to call family and just let them know what was going on. I couldn’t really talk, cause I would just start to cry, so Husbandy called everyone. Once actually being admitted, I was hooked up to an IV, had lots of different tests done, and given a Tributaline shot. This shot is what slows down contractions, but makes your heart race; it does not affect the baby, however. Wow did it make my heart race, I felt like I just drank ten cups of coffee. Seeing as I haven’t had any caffeine in a real long time, my body was shaking. So, that was fun. After one shot, contractions had slowed, but were still present, so I got a second shot. During this time they also monitored my blood pressure. This was kind of laughable, especially when they first took it. Let’s think about this….I was just admitted to L&D 32 weeks pregnant because I’m having contractions….you tell me what YOUR bp would be. The nurse was like I know you are stressed out, so I’m not going to tell you what your reading was, just try to calm down. Over the next five hours I finally got it to fall. Both the urine test and fFN test I did came back negative which was a good sign. The fFN test basically detects Fetal fibronectin which is a protein that bonds the baby to the uterus. When the body is getting ready to deliver this protein breaks down and can be detected. The test is good for about two weeks, so the nurses said I have a low chance to deliver with this time frame. They also checked and said I was not dilated and no amniotic fluid was detected. 

Around 9:00pm the nurse called Dr B, gave him my stats, and he said I could go home. I was told to stay off my feet, drink lots of fluids, and monitor to see if the contractions occur. 

2) Friday I stayed home from work and Husbandy stayed with me. Well, I say he stayed with me….he didn’t go into work…but he did run around Dallas doing chores. He was literally go go go all day getting things done, cooking, cleaning, getting things done for Reese’s room, building a stroller, packing hospital bags, delivering food to a friend that just had a baby… I felt so bad just sitting there. I did have some contractions throughout the day, but definitely not as frequent as they were. 

3) Even though the day was pretty crazy, there was some good that came out of it. We got a small scale practice run, we got to spend a Thursday with each other, we got to hear Reese’s heart beat all day, some of my worries were put to rest, and it kick our butt in gear. 

4) The rest of the weekend I spent on the couch watching HGTV, Food Network and GSN. My mom came over Saturday night and hung out while Husbandy went to a dinner party with friends we were supposed to go to. I was really sad to miss out, but I didn’t feel comfortable going. 

5) Sunday was also spent on the couch. This was depressing cause it was Mother’s Day and we were supposed to go to the horse races with my mom, brother, sister, and families. :( I was thankful that everyone left the races early and came over to our house to eat dinner. 

Food cravings: None really. I'm eating eggs and toast for breakfast every morning, typically a salad for lunch and protein and veggies for dinner. 

Food aversions: Same ole same ole. 

Symptoms: Hmmm….contractions?! I'm also still getting pretty tired in the middle of the day.

Movement: Lots of rolls and some kicks. Reese loves my right side. Often times, my right side has a huge bulge and my left side is flat. I try to tell her she can use my entire stomach and push her back to the middle, but she doesn't listen. Guess what?! My mom finally felt her! While she was over Saturday night she got to feel Reese not once but twice. Yea! Now a total of three people have felt her. 

What I’m looking forward to: Baby showers! My first is on the 23rd at my company and the other two are June 8th and 9th. I’m really hoping Reese is not physically present at these. :)

What I miss: This week I miss not having to worry about Reese coming too soon. My Dr and Bradley teacher told me, some people just have contractions and active uteruses…awesome. 

Next appt: May 20th 

Workout/Fitness: It’s a hard balance when the Dr says stay off your feet. I’m trying to do pregnancy stretches to prepare my body for labor.